"Born in a log cabin, a product of Immaculate Conception" is the story as told by my mother's friends in my youth. However, despite the blank spot reserved for the father's name, this story doesn't seem to jibe with my birth certificate which would require the log cabin to be located in the rather affluent suburb of Scottsdale and that it have the word Hospital in its address. These early lessons in Hollywood truth were not wasted on me.

In 1993 I moved to the Los Angeles area with three of my closest friends, the only one of the four with no real aspirations of working in the entertainment industry. Ironically, I was the first of the four to work in the industry after the move, making a whopping fifty dollars cash as an audience member in an infomercial.